Calista Flockhart

Subtle wiles & endless smiles

Tue, 02 Sep 2003 16:05:12 GMT

While waiting for our meal a bee decides that my iced tea is sugar heaven and starts buzzing around trying to find a good perch. This causes me to back away from the table with big fearful eyes and small squeeks. Harrison pulls out a magazine and rolls it up all threatening like, waiting for the bee to stop long enough to squish it's tiny little bee guts out. Unfortuanately for us, all the baby bee wants is to get it's sugar fix. It doesn't seem like the best idea to go whacking my iced tea across the resturant floor, as the waitress watches the commotion from a good dozen feet away, refusing to come any closer. Big fearful eyes all around. I grab some old hardcover book, that is part of the resturants decor, intending to capture the bee in my iced tea the next time it lands. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. He will not hold still. Book and rolled magazine (Was it Harper's?) are held up waiting for their chance. Buzz.

I'd like to tell you all of our clever plots paid off. I'd like to tell you that it's little hornet insides were squished across our table while Harrison ate with a triumphant grin. I'd like to tell you that I captured it in a sea of iced tea where it died in an ecstacy which can only be described as the ultimate sugar high.

Sadly, he is still out there. He is waiting for unsuspecting diners to slide into booths smiling their lives away. He will find you there. He will try to drink your beer. He will find the joy in stealing your parsley as only a bee can. Be prepared. Do not let him have the upper hand. Bring your bug spray.

-----------------

Most annoying pool game ever: He breaks, gets one ball in. He is solids, I am stripes. My turn, I get two balls in. His turn, I don't remember if he gets any in. My turn, I get my other five stripes in. His turn, I think he may have gotten one solid in as he yells about my sharking him. My last turn, I go for the eight ball. Alas, I hit it too hard and it ends up going into a pocket, but not the one I called. Damnit. Losing the bet wasn't so bad, but still, I hate losing.

Tue, 26 Aug 2003 16:18:57 GMT

I'd do the guess who's back, back again, Eminem thing but I'm just a skinny white girl with no rhythem so, this is just HI there, guys.

I missed you.

Mwah!!

Calling all GIRLS!!!!!!!!

Thu, 17 Oct 2002 23:33:39 GMT

I'm bored and going to find j_garner who is cute as hell and take her shopping with me tomorrow.
Liam loves her and I need a dinner date for tomorrow night, I'm so bored.
Bored
Bored
BORED
I saw on ET (very reliable news source :) ) that her husband is in New York doing promos for his new movie, so I bet she needs a dinner date too. We can dress up and drink martini's and giggle.
Maybe I'll give julia_roberts a call and see if she wants to come too. I saw her last night in LA so I know she's back from New York at least for now.

Anyone else wanna come? We'll make it a girl's night out on the town.

Oh and speaking of being one of the girls...the best diva around elton_john is back so go welcome him and maybe he'll stay this time.

Out, out damn Spot!

Tue, 15 Oct 2002 06:16:04 GMT

Harrison's dogs are evil. Well just one of them. The little basset hound is calm and well mannered enough. But taking care of her chocolate lab has been miserable. He is entirely unmanageable. He gave me a run for it today.

Now usually I can trick this dog into not jumping on me when I feed and water him. But today he caught on to my wiley ways and slipped out of his collar. He ran off, with me chasing him as close as I could. Then he returned with a 2-foot long section of a 2X4 board from the construction site of a nearby house. And wanted to play fetch with this plank!

I should mention this dog can jump almost five feet high from a standing position. I'm about 5'3, so when he's holding this huge board in his mouth and jumps, he's more than able to whack me in the head with it. After banging me around a couple of times, he proceeds to bite at my hands when I try to get him back in his enclosure or put his collar on him. He knocks me over, then takes off and jumps in the lake.

Stunned I sat there and wondered how in the hell I just got beat up by a dog... but sitting there wasn't bringing him back so I head to the lake. Where he tries (very nearly successfully) to knock me in the water. We wrestle on the dock; I tackle him and get him in a collar. Next to get him on the leash. And finally I have tamed the beast. Once I got him on the leash he was perfectly well mannered. But it took me about an hour to catch and subdue him. *sigh*

I tied him back up and he pulled out a pack of smokes and lit one. He blew smoke at me and chuckled, as if to say, 'was that as good for you as it was for me?'

Until next time buddy. This will NOT happen again tomorrow. And who taught you how to smoke anyway?

Ugh. Anyway want a Labrador? I love dogs but this one is too damned hyper for me.

left behind to drown in my sorrows... ;D

Wed, 02 Oct 2002 02:32:56 GMT

it was a long day

things i wanna do before i die:
-write something worthwhile
-emit fuzziness & warmth
-know a lot about the names of medications
-know a lot in general
-rescue lobsters
-be witty
-be unselfish
-swim with sharks
-embody truth
-become organized (or share my life with someone who doesn't mind organizing me)
-not worry about money
-care less & less what people think
-be accepted by my family in all my heathenness & lack of virtue

no matter how content I get, waves of "god-i-annoy-myself" still overcome... and even when someone's saying "i love you"... it's easy to feel unloved... all in all... the only opinion that can change me is mine.

I am de arteest, mon ami ---- LOL

Fri, 20 Sep 2002 22:54:11 GMT

I am learning to paint. I've been wanting to give it a try for a long time, but just never managed get around to it. However, after a long, luxurious trip through the Louve' two days ago, I know own both watercolors and acrylics and am ready to learn to use the almighty brush. I've only tried the watercolors so far, but I think it's going impressively well if I do say so myself. I did, of course, start off painting some small fairies and after seeing that they weren't a total failure I'm now totally psyched!!

a completely pointless entry

Tue, 17 Sep 2002 08:06:39 GMT

For some reason I kept thinking it was Tuesday. It must be due to my wierd sleeping patterns lately and I have no sense of time anymore since I don't carry my phone (what's the point?) and I don't have a watch. But alas it is only Monday. The days go by and it really doesn't even matter what day it is they are all the same really. I get up and do what I have to do. I sit, I eat, I sleep, I type. Nothing too exciting. I've been craving donuts like everyday. Sugar and salt. Horrible sweet tooth. And garlicy things. Today I ate some like honey mustard onion pretzel thing. And I know I'm not pregnant. Because that would be quite impossible. My arms itch. I'm listening to classical music and enjoying it immensely. I need to aqcuire more classical music for my collection. Lately I've mostly been listening to Mp3's and I got a new free cd from Landmark. Not too bad. Another compilation so I never have to decide what I want to listen to.

I'm now going to welcome Adam Sandler so Tommy will have to be my slave. (although I would have done it anyway, a Tommy slave is an added bonus HURRAY)

Sun, 08 Sep 2002 06:21:46 GMT

Harrison deleted????

why why why why?

*sob*

Fish in the trees

Sat, 07 Sep 2002 06:38:18 GMT

I think from now on when anyone asks me a question I don't want to answer I will extend my arms, spin around 3 times, click my heels and skip off in the opposite direction. That oughta teach them.

And another thing . . .
Driving back to the hotel today we passed a guy driving along with his hands clasped above the wheel in a position of prayer and I couldn't help but think that if he would just put his damn hands back on the wheel, he wouldn't have to pray so hard.

People are a trip. And often a fall.

Thu, 05 Sep 2002 03:05:00 GMT

I love the hypomanic's nap.

Lay down for five minutes on comfortable surface. Then you're up, refreshed, ready to go, with ten things running through your head that you want to get done.

I feel like I haven't slept in weeks. And I don't bloomin' care. My brain is happy when it's mush.

Harrison and I are in Europe for one of a few festivals of film they are showing K-19 at. He is also being honored here. It was a lovely presentation and he was dashing as always.
I'm so proud.

I must go, but promise to update far more and in a more intricate and entertaining post soon.

Much love

How Cally spent her random pointless sleepy saturday afternoon

Sat, 31 Aug 2002 22:38:25 GMT

I watched a spider weave a web today. I've seen webs, obviously, but I've never watched one being created. She always moved counterclockwise.

The web strands were thin to the point of being nearly invisible. I guess that makes sense, because she was such a tiny little spider. Who could imagine all of that protein being stored in her abdomen?

The big things... trees and mountains and rivers and canyons, all of those things are beautiful. But it always amazes me that it's the little things that make you tilt your head and watch for an hour and then walk away thinking "Ah! So that is how they do it!"

The best coffee comes from Harrison's favorite no spill cup that is now MINE

Sat, 24 Aug 2002 23:45:36 GMT

and other random Cally thoughts.....

I feel like I should be updating this more often, altho' I don't know why. I haven't really had much to say lately. There are some new poems I've written, but nothing really worth sharing, just some mediocre thoughts penned into my ever-present blackbook.

And I should be doing something productive right now like laundry or playing with Liam or cleaning or reading but I'm not. Liam's asleep, everything is clean and my book doesn't interest me right now. I did spend over an hour in the bathroom tho' :p Showered, shaved, moisturized, and made-up. Altho' my hair is a bit lacking since I'm not in the mood to attack myself with a blow-dryer.

I'm almost out of Cotton Blossom shower gel and smoothing scrub so as soon as I run out of lotion I'm going to pick a new scent and go on a mini-shopping-spree to get shower gel and scrub and lotions and such in a new scent. I'm thinking something more clean and soapy smelling than Cotton Blossom, less flowery, maybe Green Aloe or something like that *shrugs* I dunno.

It's all dark and rainy outside.
I miss Harrison.

I'm so lucky...although I don't usually talk about it

Tue, 20 Aug 2002 20:58:54 GMT

I'm sitting at Harrison's computer right now.
I just woke up a little while ago.
I slept in a little.
He has to leave tomorrow to go back to the set, my part taking much less time I will be staying here.
Right now he's off doing...well I honestly don't know.
He left me some cute notes around the house that say things like "you're beautiful" and "i love you."
I went to brush my teeth...and there was a note.
I went to get my hairbrush, and there was a note.
*smile*

He left me a lovely note on the computer's notepad and a melody of love songs on winamp for me to play.
He has something planned for before he leaves.
I'm excited.
He mentioned having me step out for a little bit so he can set it up.
I can't wait :)
I'm so lucky.
Thank you.

YAY BIRTHDAYS!!!

Thu, 15 Aug 2002 20:35:49 GMT

Debra
and
Ben

May you have many many more where all your wishes come true.

Huh?

Mon, 12 Aug 2002 19:12:36 GMT

It looks like rain outside...but unfortunately, that does not mean that the dog days of summer are drawing to a close. The next few weeks will be a veritable celebration of humidity and sun that puts the lush jungles of Central America to shame; sort of a last hurrah for summer to try and beat us into submission. Then we'll simmer down, just a touch, into the low nineties perhaps, and the humidity will start to fade ever-so-slowly, the wind will change, and inexorably, fall will begin to creep in. The goldenrod will sprout up, the long grasses will dry out from the sun, and Indian Summer will be here. Harrison and I are taking Liam to the Lucas Ranch tonight. I should be fun and thank god for cooler weather in Northern California.

Before we take off though I wanted to clear up something….There is NOTHING between Tom and I but friendship. I can't speak for him, but I certainly am not about to sit here quietly while it is insinuated that I would do something like that to Penelope or for goodnesssake to my Harrison. He is the one I love and who I am with and we are very happy.

See you all tomorrow.

EDIT Jonny and Richie, I heard the new single it's incredible. You ROCK!!! * Laughing *Oh yeah you knew that. Heather, hugs and hugs, Liam says to say hello to Pretty Ava for him 

life goes on

Mon, 12 Aug 2002 01:37:53 GMT

Tommy and I had dinner the other night. It started out at a fancy french place that neither of us were comfortable in, especially after the head waiter called Access Hollywood and told them he had left Penelope and I had dumped Harrison and we were dating, so we cleared up the story and left. We ended up driving around in his limo, laughing and drinking and well...rolling down the windows and mooning the other motorists on Ventura.
I wonder what they'd do if they realized that naked butt in the window of the limo wasn't some drunk teenager, but Mr. Tom Cruise. *laughing still*

Then last night, while driving home from the poker game at del Toro's with Harrison, we were listening to the radio, and they had a spoken word program on.
classical music was playing and there was the voice of a lady that was telling the story of hawai'i and about queen liliuokalani.
they spoke about ka'iolani, queen liliuokalani's niece and how she wrote in a letter about not wanting to marry a man whom she did not love. it was an arrangement.
the words made me sad...to think that there are women out there that feel this way...because of arranged marriages and such.

"...i must have been born beneath an unlucky star. For my life is planned out in a way that I can not alterate..."
-ka'iolani an excerpt from one of her many letters...

Thu, 08 Aug 2002 05:50:26 GMT

Each day, and the living of it, has to be a conscious creation in which discipline and order are relieved with some play and pure foolishness.

Saw the sun today, in my many hours of shopping with k_beckinsale. It was a beautiful day and we bought as much as we possibly could, stopped for lunch and then went back to spending. Actually, we had a really nice day looking around and finding some beautiful things for her new home and even a few for mine. Liam and Lily get along wonderfully and so after lunch we relaxed and let them play a little bit, even riding the carousel in the park with them...More fun for us than them I must admit. We only stayed a few hours because of the heat.
Then tonight harrison_ford and I went to a pretentious art party that was a benefit for a national charity he is heavily involved in and that I also believe in. But the only really interesting thing about the party was that the art gallery is located in a building that used to be a police station and they haven't changed much so there were still cells and they were cool looking.
It's late now and I need sleep, after all I have to be well rested since t_cruise is taking me out tomorrow night to the fanciest French restaurant we can find…This may call for more shopping tomorrow morning.

American Girls

Tue, 06 Aug 2002 03:39:48 GMT

I posted yesterday and talked about the party at the beautiful Sambora home. I talked about many things but the one I left off, due to obvious pickleing of the brain by too much alcohol is that the first person come up and give me and Harrison hugs after Heather greeted us was the very sweet and lovely rachael_leigh.
Forgive me for the horrendous oversight honey. Love you.

She comes out on Fridays every time
Stands out in a line
I could've been anyone she'd seen
She waits another week to fall apart
She couldn't make another day
I wish it was anyone but me
It could've been anyone you see
She had something breakable just under her skin

American girls, are weather & noise
Playing the changes for all of the boys
Holding a candle up to my hand
Making me feel so incredible

She comes out of closets every night
But then she locks herself away
Where she could keep everything from me
I could have been anyone you see
She?s nothing but porcelain underneath her skin

American girls, are weather & noise
Playing the changes for all of the boys
Holding a candle up to my hand
Making me feel so incredible

Little shivers shaking me every day
But I could get the same thing anywhere
So if she goes away
Well it's alright and I'm okay
"Hey", she said, "Come back again tonight"
I said, "I might I might I might"
She said, "Well that's alright
If it's alright with you, then it's alright with me"

I waited for an hour last Friday night
She never came around
She took almost everything from me
I?m going through my closets
Trying on her clothes almost everyday
I could've been anyone you see
I wish it was anyone but me
Theres nothing but pills and ashes under my skin

American girls, are weather & noise
Playing the changes for all of the boys
Holding a candle right up to my hand
Making me feel so incredible
If I made you cry, please tell me why
Cause I'll try again if you let me try
American girls all feathers & cream
Come into bed so edible

and now for something completely different

Mon, 05 Aug 2002 04:11:08 GMT

I almost killed myself today.

Got everyone's attention? Okay first things first, after much recovery time from the party thrown by the lovely heatherlocker and r_sambora, where I made out with k_beckinsale, danced with bradley_pitt in a sequined dress (him not me) and with t_cruise in his tighty whities, met fake Cher, otherwise known as seanhayes and then real one, diva_cher, as well as steven_tyler and saw pam_anderson with her sheep, and watched j_garner dump her drink on johnrzeznik's head and then I finally fell asleep on the very gorgeous and wonderful harrison_ford.

All in all it was a wonderful night. Thank you Harrison, Richie and Jonny for the incredible breakfast in the morning.

Now on to my near death…
it wasn't even intentional. Nicole (Nicole Carson from Ally) called and wanted to go hiking, I love to so we drove up to this huge, beautiful waterfall about an hour away and I just walked down to the point closest to the falls, scrambled down over the Beech roots, climbed up on to the rocks, ignoring the *do not cross this line* notice, right up to the tip of the rocks, the edge of the fall, the steepest cliff and just stood there, and I walked down to the edge. The falls were right next to me, crashing down a further 150 feet into sharp rocks. There was this tremendous surge of power and the noise was deafening. The ground, jagged rocks turning into mossy banks and into a mud beach around the lagoon. Looked so beautiful, and the spray from the falls was on my skin, and all around me, glittering in the sunlight. The beech trees stretched out over the cliffs and there was a really deep, dark pool flowing into an erosion cave - such a dark blue, such soft water, such cool shadows.

And, I closed my eyes. I could hear birds singing; I could feel the warmth of the sun and the cool spray on my skin, and still that deafening crash of power. So, I moved closer to the edge, looked down in the falls. I can't possibly describe how beautiful it was, and, on instinct, every single part of me felt compelled to jump, so much that I actually flinched, as if I was about to dive into a swimming pool.

Then, a single thought entered my head.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!?

Pulling back, calmness over. Shock setting in, drew back, shaky, climbed back over to the edge, off the cliff, onto the Beech mulching, onto the path. Then I realized Nicole was the one yelling to me and standing, watching. Just watching. She said she was just watching me, waiting. To see if I was going to fall or jump or what. Standing, silent, watching. Oh my god. Thanks Nicole, glad I wasn't waiting for you to come save me.

EDIT: Go say hello to Sebastian Bach, bach_off, he said publicy he watched Ally McBeal. Thanks Sebastian, I love your voice.

Sat, 03 Aug 2002 00:02:44 GMT

Okay we have our costumes and hopefully I won't have any terrible mishaps with the chain link bra.
Harrison looks soooooo handsome.
I'm so excited to see everyone all dressed up, I feel like a little kid at Halloween.

Heather and Richie, we'll see you soon.

*loves much*

Hey Baby, Little Lady

Fri, 02 Aug 2002 08:26:51 GMT

To pool or not to pool THAT is the question.

Finally home from a tedious day of shopping (you try finding a gold metal bikini with a skirt and sandals that lace up your leg, while on the cell to George Lucas begging for Return of The Jedi/Star Wars memorabilia to "borrow")
I can't quite motivate myself to go relax by the pool. I fear I've hit an ultimate low of laziness when I can't even move to go lay by the pool.
Strangely I am seriously considering going for a run. Now why would the idea of physical exertion be easier for my lazy mind to accept than laze-ing by the pool?
I am a conundrum. Or at least a bongo. Oooh, that ought to induce a groan.

I have to go out of town for work next week. When I agreed to do this film, yes it's true I'm in the new Indiana Jones movie, but I doubt Harrison actually threatened them, I loved the idea of travel, now I don't. Maybe this is because when they said travel I was picturing Asia, Europe . . . anywhere but West Virginia. Does that even count as travel? I think not. But I am going for a whole week anyway. Ah mes amis, cest la vie.

p.s. Han..I mean Harrison. George Lucas says you still have your Star Wars pistol of start looking you'll need it.

An observation......

Thu, 01 Aug 2002 06:06:35 GMT

Cruelty for the sake of cruelty is horrible enough.

But cruelty for a laugh or acceptance is even worse.

Billy is here so it's off to the shin dig for Mr. Affleck.

ta - ta

Thu, 01 Aug 2002 01:42:41 GMT

I have all my best ideas of what to say when I'm driving.
Clever, funny intros, meaningful ways of telling stories...the "best" anecdotes for conveying the moment...

But I always have a long way to go. Weaving around cars on Ventura. Getting into the parking garage without killing someone's car, or my own. And by the time I get back here...I forget. Or the phone rings. Or Liam needs me or I start reading. Or my coffee doesn't taste right.

Where do I want to start?
Is there much to start with?
Okay...I'll start easy.

Heather and I met this morning to go for a quick run. Then some down time with coffee and a trip to the park for us with Ava and Liam. Ava is such a little beauty, just like her mommy. And smart as a whip too. We parted before lunch and I went to finish up a little shopping I needed to do.
I also had a wonderful conversation with the most lovely Kate. I love her honesty and ability to give you all the information when she's telling you a story. I hate when people half-ass tell me something that happened.
Harrison and I have yet to come to a mutual decision on costumes, but I made the choice. Dear, if you'd like to know before hand what you're wearing, you know where to find me…Thank you MODER for the idea and Tommy for agreeing it was a good one.
After my morning in the sun I'm a little bit tan and might wear something a little sexier than originally planned for dinner out with Harrison tonight.
I don't know where we're going but he's gonna have a hard time topping Tommy and his McDonalds burgers, while wearing the Austin Powers glasses.
Afterwards we're swinging by the party for Ben…
One year sober. Congratulations baby, that's amazing. Harrison and I both as so proud of you. We'll see you later tonight.

EDIT: Harrison had to work, called off for promotional shmoozing. So, the very handsomeBilly has agreed to be my escort.

People are not Widgets

Wed, 31 Jul 2002 00:26:43 GMT

That's right my friends you heard it here first, people are NOT widgets.
Is a Fishism?
Nope.
Not even a Calistaism. However I can tell you that anyone who takes a cab anywhere in LA is insane.
Now, back to my story....
This startling widget revelation came through today from one of The Keepers of All Knowledge, the Head Hancheros of All Things, my cab driver. IT was early and I didn't feel like driving so I grabbed the nearest cab outside Fox Studios and that's when I met him.
Apparently what we should all keep in mind, it is that People Are Not Widgets.
Now I know some of you are currently leaping back in startled horror and with eyes wide and lip trembling you are stuttering "you-you-you mean . . . we aren't W-wi-wi- . . . WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" I'm afraid . . . it's true.
Now for some of us, this came as no surprise. Afterall, we are far too big to be Widgets. Widgets, as everyone knows are about the size of a human fist and are round and mushy. A far cry from our own lengthy, limby, bony bodies.
Also, Widgets are furry. Now, some of us are ALMOST furry,(coughbradsbeardcough) but we certainly never come close to equaling the soft, silky but kinky, fluorescent pink fur of those lovable beings the Widgets.
And Widgets can see in the dark which, evidenced by the gigantic bruise on my shin begotten in last nights pitch-black battle with the bathroom door, we people cannot.
And that my friends, is that.

I also think it only fair that I share with you this other knowledge gem given to me by the very same cab driver.
Try not to get hung up in the Mucky-Muck.
Now, as many intellectual jewels are, this was at first a confusing message. Thankfully, I have pondered the significance of this message from above and have come to the conclusion that maybe I was wrong all along. Maybe I should never have felt sorry for that sad creature the Mucky-Muck. If it's widely known, and apparently it is, that he deserves to be shunned by those around him then perhaps he is not merely misunderstood as I had always thought, perhaps he truly is a dangerous beast and all that sobbing and begging to be hugged is merely for show.

By the time he dropped me off I was wondering more and more "Toto . . . who fucked up Kansas??"

This is a crazy world kids. All I know is this once again reconfirms my opinion that Jimmy Buffett knows all, just look:

"...Fruitcakes in the kitchen
Fruitcakes on the street
Struttin' naked through the cross walk
In the middle of the week..."

*And one more thing. I think INCREDULOUS should be added to the current mood options because, darn it, it's a good mood to have. That and SPECTACULAR because isn't it fun when people ask how you're feeling to just be able to throw your head back, smile up the sky, spread your arms and say breathlessly "Spectacular!" *

Well, enough of me for now. Tommy just called and is swinging by to pick up Liam and I. Need to find shoes...ta-ta for now.

"...Half baked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us..."

"Love is merely a madness."

Tue, 30 Jul 2002 08:12:35 GMT

Short
On my way to bed
I'll write more tomorrow, but I wanted to congratulate Jen and Brad again and tell you both thank you. The party was great, Harrison and I throughly enjoyed ourselves.
Good night everyone, time for me to toddle off, I'll see you in the a.m.

Mmmwwaahh,

Cally